


Natural Disadvantage

by PastaOverlord



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 17:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13956807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastaOverlord/pseuds/PastaOverlord
Summary: You can't win an argument with Kyle Broflovski.





	Natural Disadvantage

Kenny took a long drag of his cigarette, leaning casually against the high school building. He wasn't going to waste his chance. It was really goddamn difficult to smoke with teachers and Kyle breathing down his neck constantly. Now was the only time he could ever slip out, everyone too preoccupied with lunch to notice his absence. It's not like he could get anything to eat anyway. His family had used up their food stamps and they sure as shit couldn't afford for both Karen and Kenny to eat at school. 

So, Kenny used his chance, slipping silently out the back door, needing a cigarette more than usual. The lack of food was stressful. At least Kyle didn't notice him creep outside. The boy had a personal vendetta against the little cancer sticks, it seemed. It was cool that Kyle cared, but it wasn't like they actually could kill him. And Kenny really did not feel like hearing the fiery rant against tobacco's evils right now.

So of course, it was that moment that mister Kyle Broflovski himself barged through the door, with a determination only he could muster.

Kenny jolted, looking at Kyle with a mixture of dread and apprehension. Sure, he liked Kyle. A lot. All but loved the fiery ginger, actually. But him being here meant Kenny was probably going to get his ass beat. And not in a fun way.

He contemplated hiding the cigarette behind his back, but he knew it was too late. Kyle had obviously known what he was doing before he even saw him. So Kenny just grinned disarmingly, hoping to avoid conflict. One didn't win against a Broflovski, after all.

"Hey, dude! What brings you out here on this fine Colorado day?" He asked, his voice sweet in a way that only the truly desperate could muster.

But of course, Kyle didn't take the bait. Not that Kenny expected him to, but hey, a guy could dream.

"Why are you still smoking? I've told you that those fucking things will kill you." Kyle asked indignantly, looking like he didn't expect an answer.

Kenny chuckled, trying not to sound bitter. "They won't kill me. I swear it. Scout's honor" 

Kyle scowled but nodded like he expected the nonsense answer. He then squared his shoulders and stood beside Kenny. Kenny lifted a brow at the determination shining in the boy's eyes but took another drag of his cigarette. He kinda wanted to see what Kyle was up to. The boy always managed to keep Kenny on his toes. It was kinda refreshing.

Kyle took a deep breath, then began talking.

"Did you know," Kyle began, breathing deeply, "That secondhand smoke is just as deadly as smoking the cigarette yourself? In fact, it might be worse because you face the same dangers as the smoker without even having to touch a cigarette." Kyle nodded, still taking deep exaggerated breaths as he stood beside Kenny. Who still had a cigarette in his mouth. "Yeah, a person simply standing right beside a smoker, " Cue a sly look at Kenny. "Is still at risk for heart disease and stroke, both of which I'm already at risk for, being diabetic and all, and that's not to even mention-"

Kenny quickly dropped his cigarette, stamping it out. A mix of exasperation and worry shone in his eyes as he scowled at Kyle.

Kyle just grinned, patting the slightly taller boy's head as he handed Kenny a lunch bag that he hadn't noticed him holding.

"And I know that since you love me, and don't want me to die, you'll quit smoking. Since, you know, we're always together and you couldn't smoke without me beside you. It is a small town, after all.

Kenny was still glowering at Kyle as he unceremoniously dumped his pack of smokes in the trash. He was going to regret that later, but he knew better than most.

One couldn't win against a Broflovski.

**Author's Note:**

> Another K2 drabble! I'm trying to work up to a big project, but I'm not there yet. So more one-shots! Maybe I'll do Creek soon. I don't know.  
> My Tumblr is pasta-writes if you wanna chat with me!


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